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Surviving After Divorce: 6 Tips for Reinventing Yourself

HomeWellnessSurviving After Divorce: 6 Tips for Reinventing Yourself

The marriage you entered into for a year or a decade is finally over. You have officially signed the divorce papers and dissolved the relationship. In reality, everyone’s divorce story is different.

Some may have been married for a year or so, while others may have been married for decades. Others may have had children, while others may have not. Maybe in your case, the divorce was not your partner’s idea but yours, or perhaps it was an agreement between both of you through specialist family law solicitors.

It can be a relief or heartbreaking to both of you, or either one is relieved while the other is heartbroken. Whatever the feeling, the most important thing to know is what direction you are going to take as a newly single person. Here are eight tips for reinventing yourself:

1. Let yourself mourn the person you were

It doesn’t matter what age you were when you got married, but one thing for sure is that you did not enter into this institution with the hope that you will get divorced someday. Even if you are the one who wanted the separation, divorce represents a loss, and whatever the experience, there will be emotions of grieve and loss. 

You may feel remorseful and wonder what you did wrong or what you didn’t do and was supposed to do but acknowledge as you go through the empty spaces and don’t try to skip the mourning phase. 

Cry, laugh, and scream until you get to the other side perfectly well. There several stages of grief that you will pass through, such as denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and later acceptance. By doing so, you will be sure you will not take much of your past to a new situation.

2. Work through your feelings by letting go of bitterness

Divorce

Depending on your situation and what you have gone through, this is not an easy one. Having resentful feelings is very reasonable and okay, however focusing your energy on how much time has passed will not help you sweep the emotions. You may not heal entirely or move on when these feelings are there. 

Find ways to work out the heavy baggage from the demise of your previous marriage, or it will pollute you’re going forward. To better your situation, you can talk to a therapist or someone with no other agenda but you for post-divorce counselling. Do a lot of soul searching, appreciate the period it was, and let go of the bad feelings.

3. Discover the person you purposed to be and learn to like yourself

Go out there and find your passion. Even if the relationship didn’t work, remember you were someone before the divorcee life. After the divorce, you may experience a feeling of rejection, but stay strong and remember the person you were is still somewhere, so work on finding that someone again. 

You may feel that there was something wrong with you, but don’t allow it to bring you down and believe in your worth. If you get brave enough to look at your divorce experience in a positive way, you can become a better version of yourself. 

Changing undoubtedly and unashamedly will make you grow from this experience while remaining the active person you used to be. Exercising your interests again in your favourite activities such as hobbies will help in rebuilding yourself

4. Embrace new roles and discover a new side of you

Divorce

By the simple act of teaching yourself new roles, you can gain a sense of responsibility that can come with satisfaction. Divorce is a life-changing period, and though difficult, it can hold a silver lining and bring a new sense of purpose. There may be a whole lot of fantasy within your reach. Don’t be afraid of making a new change as long as it is healthy and constructive.
It can be something like trying a new sport, going back to college, working a new way of worship, or moving to a new city. Think about the person you want to be and do things differently. Basic things like trying a different cookery recipe can help you go through the first dark days. 

Think of something important, set about doing it, and learn to accomplish. The person you were when in marriage may turn out to be a very different person, flit away, enjoy and throw the caution to the wind.

5. Dare to cherish some time alone

Before you get out there, you need to learn how to be alone. Don’t be in a rush, have some time to uncover who you are. In recent times, society is accepting singles more than in previous decades. 

So, before you go out there to paint the town red, wait until you develop a feeling that is brave enough to face loneliness head-on. Being alone doesn’t mean you stay isolated, no, it means not coupled up. 

Without anyone bellowing your name, there are a lot of opportunities you can dedicate your time in, like listening to music, pottering around the house, among others. The social dimensions of divorce are vibrant; for example, gone are the times when solo restaurant dinners would raise an eyeball. You can also hop in the bathtub with tea for a company and enjoy the bliss.

6. Set and embrace your new roles

Divorce

Divorce brings a massive life shift where suddenly you have new responsibilities. You are required to learn and manage certain aspects of life that you never used to handle. A particular chapter of life has closed, and you need to set a new one by laying out some plans and goals as you adjust slowly to your new life. 

Let yourself envision and plan, but you don’t have to figure it all out by yourself, seek help. Even if you make mistakes, they will teach you life lessons, and it is okay. Don’t get also distracted if you don’t achieve your goal. There is power in just changing self regardless of whether you realized it or not.

Final Words

Surviving after divorce can make one grieve and suffer. But, with proper reinventing measures, it is possible to live an after-divorce life with happiness that has no bitterness or regret.

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pearls of wisdom
Monica Lee
Monica Lee
Monica is a passionate traveller and content creator. Her interests including outdoor activities, fitness, technology, entrepreneurship and everything in between.

4 COMMENTS

  1. The best gift you can give to a newly engaged couple-send them to marriage counselling. Some Churches make this mandatory. All of the above mentioned can help to learn what your partner is expecting, your expectations, how to handle important issues, if you are compatible or if the marriage is not ideal.

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