Healing after a divorce is rarely easy. There are so many legal issues to focus on during and after divorce that it might feel like you are keeping your emotions in check. However, once the process is over and you don’t have any more proceedings or paperwork to deal with, your emotions can finally take over — and it can feel overwhelming.
Some people feel angry, some feel sad, and some just feel numb. All of which, and many other emotions, are normal. It’s important to remind yourself that you are only human, and it is okay for you to let yourself feel. In fact, it’s not just okay, but letting yourself feel your emotions is an important part of the healing process.
If you try to bury your emotions or rush through the healing process, it might only make things worse. Healing is a process that takes time, and as frustrating as that might be to hear for some, it is true — but you will get through it.
Divorce is like suffering a loss, and as with any loss, you will need to allow yourself time to adjust to your new life and reality. Knowing what to expect and how to more successfully process your emotions can help you get through it and reach the other side.
Tips To Help You Heal After a Divorce
There is no one right way to heal and start again after a divorce, as every person’s emotions and how they handle loss can vary. But the tips below can help as you learn to process your emotions and seek to build a new path toward happiness.
Allow Yourself Time To Feel and Be Alone
Again, allowing yourself to feel your emotions is essential. Do not try to hurry this part of the process. If you can, take some time off work and set aside some time for yourself so that you can be alone and feel whatever it is you need to feel. Don’t isolate yourself for too long, as this can lead to depression. But it is okay to take some time to just be with yourself to process and feel.
Talk It Out With a Therapist
If you are struggling to process your emotions or perhaps feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to reach out to a professional for help. There is no shame in talking to a therapist. They can help you better understand and process what you are going through and offer you the guidance you need to address your mental and emotional health.
Surround Yourself With a Good Support System
After you have taken the alone time you need, it’s important to start surrounding yourself with friends and family again. A good support system is vital when recovering from a divorce.
Trying to go through the process alone might only result in a longer healing process, and it can result in feelings of loneliness and depression. The right people can help you process your emotions, make it easier for you to move on, and help you find joy and happiness again.
Dress To Impress… Yourself
It’s not uncommon for people to feel shame after a divorce, or to feel like they don’t look good and are no longer worthy of love. And while these are normal things to feel, it’s important not to let yourself fall too far down that rabbit hole.
Sometimes, feeling better about yourself is about doing things that make you feel good rather than focusing on what you need to do to impress others. Clothes can play a significant role in your mental health and how you feel, for example.
So to boost your mood and feel better about yourself, try dressing in clothes and colors that make you happy. Don’t worry about what others think; just dress to impress yourself. This can help improve your confidence and get rid of those pesky feelings of self-doubt and shame.
Discover New Interests
Another helpful way to heal and survive after a divorce is to try new things, or start doing the things you wanted to do but held yourself back from while you were married. It doesn’t matter your age after a divorce, your life is not over, and you are allowed to reinvent yourself and discover entirely new interests if you’d like.
Doing this can help you discover new things that bring you joy, which can also help you cope and begin to move on. For example, you could try art or even color therapy, yoga, and meditation. You can even strive for more involved hobbies and passions, like learning how to ride a horse or sail a boat. This is the time to start enjoying your life again and find what makes you happy.
Set Yourself up for Success
Finances can sometimes be a challenge after going through a divorce, especially if you heavily relied on your previous partner’s income. But money doesn’t have to be something you stress about or that delays your healing process. You can heal yourself and your finances after divorce.
Setting yourself up for financial success after a divorce can include creating a new budget, working to improve your credit score, starting a new savings account and emergency fund, and even looking for a new job that pays you a better income. You can survive without your partner and create your own sense of financial security—it might take some time—but it is possible if you put in the effort.
Ease Into Dating Again
Rebounding after divorce is common. Some people feel like they need someone else to love and love them in return to feel fulfilled, but jumping into a relationship too soon can delay the healing process.
It’s important to let yourself learn to live again as a single person before you start moving on with someone else. Dating too soon can result in you simply trying to use a new person to fill in the emptiness you feel. It’s somewhat like trying to put a Band-Aid over a gaping wound. It might work temporarily, but eventually, you’ll need to address the bigger issue.
It’s important that you learn to feel good about yourself without someone else first. It’s also necessary to process mistakes made in your previous relationship, so you don’t carry those traumas over with you into the next one.
You will find love again, whether that’s in another person or in yourself and the new life you have built. Just give it time.
Final Thoughts
There is life again after a divorce. The process might feel painful and certainly won’t be easy, but you can minimize the pain of divorce by allowing yourself time to heal and adopting healthy coping behaviors.
It’s all about taking it one step at a time. But, the more you take care of yourself and surround yourself with support, the better you will feel, and the more you will start learning to embrace your new life.
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