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Rediscovering You: A Guide to Reclaiming Your Identity Post-Parenthood

HomeWellnessRediscovering You: A Guide to Reclaiming Your Identity Post-Parenthood

Becoming a parent is a life-altering experience. With a new baby, come new responsibilities, new pressures, and new activities, and all of a sudden, your life is completely different. Your baby comes first, and all the things you love doing, and all your hobbies and activities take a second or third spot.

For many new parents, especially mothers, this is very overwhelming. So much so that they feel like they’ve lost their sense of self. Taking care of a newborn is a top priority now, and it seems like things you love and make you happy suddenly don’t matter anymore.

It’s no wonder that some parents struggle quite a bit with parenthood and self-identity.

But don’t worry, because you don’t have to lose your sense of self just because you’ve become a parent. There are some strategies that can help you rediscover yourself and, at the same time, help you embrace this new wonderful role that is parenthood. Let’s check them out.

Rekindle the connection with your partner

New parents have so much on their plates that at some point the relationship with their partner gets pushed to the bottom of a long list. And they become more like roommates than life partners. 

It’s not easy navigating that post-parenthood period where you crave some alone time with your partner but, at the same time, you feel guilty for even considering it. 

However, it’s not a bad thing that you want some alone time with your partner or that you miss how things were pre-parenthood. Quite the contrary, you should find time to rekindle the connection with your partner. That’s the best way to rediscover yourself after becoming a new parent.

Take one night every week and make it a date night. Spend time with each other like you did before the baby and don’t feel guilty about it. Reconnecting with and dedicating time to your partner is very important.

Make the most of your support system

As a new parent, it’s really important to be able to rely on your friends and family. That support system is even more important if you’re a single parent. 

Also, keep in mind that a support system comes in many shapes and forms. If you don’t live close to your family members, make the most of your friends. And if you really don’t have anyone close, support groups and social media connections can also play an important role in your post-parenthood journey.

It’s essential to have someone to talk to, especially with people who knew you before you became a parent.

Self-care is crucial

Just because you’ve become a parent doesn’t mean that you don’t matter anymore. Being a parent, especially a first-time parent, makes it easy to forget your sense of self-worth. You stop caring how you look, what you wear, or when you eat, and all that can be very detrimental to your physical and mental health.

That’s why self-care is crucial. Take a longer shower, and put on makeup, or mascara, at least. Those seemingly small things can make a world of difference for new parents.

Movement and sleep mean a lot to our mental health. So, whenever you can sleep in. Go for a walk, do exercises, go swimming, or start a local fitness class. Don’t be afraid of splurging a bit on yourself. Buy those shoes you love so much, and invest in those amazing blazer and skirt sets you’ve seen online. 

All of these are different types of self-care that can help you regain your sense of self-worth when you become a parent.

Take up a hobby or interest from before parenthood

Becoming a parent often comes with an identity crisis. Who were you before becoming a parent, and does that person still exist?

To rediscover yourself again, you can try taking up a hobby or an interest from before you were a parent. We know that hobbies take time you probably don’t have, but at first, you can dedicate 10 to 15 minutes to what you loved doing pre-baby.

Read a chapter of a book or watch your favorite show while the baby is napping. Any free time that you can get to spend alone with yourself is not time wasted. Quite the contrary, it’s the time you need to reconnect with yourself, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about it.

Try or start something new

Taking up your old hobby or interest can also make you feel different. You may feel that your old hobbies are no longer interesting or relevant now that you had your baby.

If that’s the case, don’t worry, it’s not the end of the world. It’s just time to try or start something new. 

Trying to go back to your old lifestyle and old hobbies can also feel like you’re going backward. So, instead of doing that, think of taking up new interests and hobbies as a way of going forward.

Rediscovering yourself is a process that takes time and experimentation. The goal is to find things that make you happy and that give you an outlet. Maybe that will be your pre-parenthood hobbies, or maybe that will be something new. The goal is to take time to find out what works best for this new version of yourself.

Consider going back to work

Going back to work is a great way to reclaim your identity and feel like yourself again. When the time is right, consider going back to work. At first, you don’t have to work full-time. In some cases that won’t even be possible while the baby is small.

Going back to work after becoming a parent is a personal choice. However, for many parents going back to work is not even an option at first. Once you become a parent, your career goes on the back burner, at least for a while.

But if you think working will make you feel like yourself again, consider part-time jobs, or flexible working hours. Working from home is another great option. Keep in mind that to be able to think about any of this, you’ll need to consider childcare options.


Parenthood is a different type of journey for each one of us. Some adjust to it better, while others struggle quite a bit. But either way, parenthood is a beautiful thing that you need to navigate on your own. And the best way to do that is by rediscovering and reclaiming your identity and self-worth. Hopefully, some of these strategies will work for you, too.

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pearls of wisdom
Erin Lane
Erin Lane
Erin Lane is a creative writer and lifestyle blogger from Canberra, Australia. She is a hard-working, organized, dedicated professional interested in learning new things. With five years of experience in writing, Erin has covered numerous topics, including health, fashion, fitness, makeup, home improvement, decoration, business, and finances.


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